Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize