We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
