We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
