There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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