roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Randomize
