i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
