I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize