I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
