I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
