also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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