erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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