I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Quick, to the slutcave!
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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