So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
