Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
