and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
