Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
