Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
