I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
