you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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