i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
