"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
