Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
