we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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