Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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