I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
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