i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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