It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
