Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Randomize
