she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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