are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
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