im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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