??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
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