scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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