I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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