great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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