how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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