Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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