I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You can't just leave with hair like that
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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