That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I just saw a hot homeless man
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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