he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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