Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize