my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
