I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
