We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize