I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
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