There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Randomize
