When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
