My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
