he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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