just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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