our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
