BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
ttyl tear gas
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
