I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I have tasted many bathrooms
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
