Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
