this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
