My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
