That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
