So drunk, too bad you don't want this
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
