the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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