His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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